Should You Be Lifting That?

I don't like having to ask for help. I never have and probably never will.

I learned during the surgery that it is okay to accept help. I still don't like to ask for it though.

But what drives me crazy is when people judge me for what I am doing now - 11 weeks after the final surgery.

For instance, at work we were told that we needed to box up our office areas and take home any valuables because construction would be occurring during our vacation. So I loaded my office space into three boxes. Books, papers, files, and office supplies. I tried to distribute the weight evenly since I knew I would have to go down a flight of stairs and through several sets of doors.

Now we all had to do this. Everyone was busy.

My boss saw me carrying one of the boxes and said "Should you be lifting that?" 

No offer to help mind you. She was busy with her own work. But that isn't what irritated me. I didn't need the help. It was difficult moving the boxes, but I could do it slowly but surely.

What irked me was her judgmental tone. Yes I had just had major surgery. Yes I had just been out of work for 3 months. But no I am not completely helpless.

Did she expect me to be weaker? Sicker? Complain more? Do less? Did she think I was faking the surgery?

I don't know.

But what I do know is that I am strong. A hell of a lot stronger than most people. And I don't need her or anyone else judging me for it.